Exchange Rate for Pet Um's

Due to the recent downgrade in the quality of pet um's, I am enacting a new lick-pet exchange rate:

For every 5 pet um's I receive I will pay out 1 face lickin's, assumin's that the pet um's includes an ear scratch and belly rubz.  This policy will be enacted az of next pet um's..thanks for your understandinz.

-Stella D. Bella

Dee Economy

I's been watching cars pass by out the window for quite some times now.  Somes of those cars I uzed to sees on a daily basis, others every once in a great whiles.  I's been seeings a lot less of them latelys, and after sniffing arounds I thinks I find out why...  Its dee economys dood!

Not as many peoples working lately, means not as many cars, which is fines for me cauze I prefers boids and squirrels in any case.  But not as many cars also means less pet um's.  And thats where I take a stands!

You see for yous two legged creatures, moneys is income, but for a dogz like myself my income is pet um's.  Lately I am in a bits of a recessions as it seemz my weeklyz pet um's has been reduced by around 10 percents, leaving me wandering the neighborhoods for an ear scratch.  I'm usings all the same techniques that used to get mes a belly rub before, including the shifty eyebrows, exposing my soft underbelly, treating Eeyore like a friend and villain,(sorry dood-got carried away, probably need some new stuffins for yas) and even resorting to the injured paw with hurt face, (witch did work, but I dont wants your pitys dood.)  Stills there seemz to be a pet ums shortage.

I continues to attempts to try new wayz to get pet ums, and will even resorts to a token pat on the heads if I haves to, but...

sometimez I wishes I waz still a puppy.

A Confession..

Deer Santa Klaws

Since Christmiss is right around the corners and I'm getting low on tennis ballz and pig earz, I thought I would come cleans with a confessions, so you brings me a new stuffed Eeyore..

Sometimes when I gets bored, and nobodeez throweeing the tennis ballz around or theres no boids to chase, I'll walk over to the one of the neighbor dogs house with the invisible fencing and grab a chew toy in the yard when the dogz not lookings. I'll strut back and forth, flipping the toy into the air until I get the hounds attentions, and they start to chase me.  Then I run to just the other side of the invisible fence and wait for the fireworkz.  Sometimes they learns, and sometimes not, but I always keepz the toy in my hiding spot witch no one has found yet (includins myself).

The way I figurez, I'm missing some tennis ballz and one of theze dogz is too blamez!!

-Stella D. Bella                                                                                                              

P.S.  I ate the banana bread off of the table from Patty Ryan last week, but blamed it on Rat Shell the pit bull because she always looks guilty anywayz.

They Don't Make Socks Like They Used Toos

I was chewing on sum durty socks the other day, when I punctured one and bit my tongues.  My ears perked up as I inspected the sock, and after sniffing around for defects I found that this sock was "made in China."  I started to gag, remembering the melamine in my dog food from 21 years ago (dog yearz dood) before I metaphorically squatted on the remains of the sock, vowing never to chew on a Chinese sock again.  Though the taste of stinky feets has long since left my mouth, I can still taste a hint of Chinese sweatshop whenever I lick my chop ums..

So to all the dog owners out there buying chew toys made in China, I recommend a used stuffed animal from goodwill instead, or somes durtys uzed socks made in America.

All I begs is that youz leaves the stuffed Eeyore's bee, as the Eeyore I have now has all the stuffins gone and the head is missing...