They Don't Make Socks Like They Used Toos

I was chewing on sum durty socks the other day, when I punctured one and bit my tongues.  My ears perked up as I inspected the sock, and after sniffing around for defects I found that this sock was "made in China."  I started to gag, remembering the melamine in my dog food from 21 years ago (dog yearz dood) before I metaphorically squatted on the remains of the sock, vowing never to chew on a Chinese sock again.  Though the taste of stinky feets has long since left my mouth, I can still taste a hint of Chinese sweatshop whenever I lick my chop ums..

So to all the dog owners out there buying chew toys made in China, I recommend a used stuffed animal from goodwill instead, or somes durtys uzed socks made in America.

All I begs is that youz leaves the stuffed Eeyore's bee, as the Eeyore I have now has all the stuffins gone and the head is missing...